Wednesday, October 15, 2008

When I am Old

About 4 1/2 years ago, Husband and I started having the "discussion." You know the one where one says, "Are we ready, yet?" And the other says, "I think so."

You know the one...the one when you both decide that you will never have enough money, so you have the why-not-go-ahead discussion.

The are-we-ready-to-have-a-baby-yet discussion.

More importantly, the we-need-to-pray-about-it-and-get-direction-from-God discussion.

And just a couple of months later, God answered our prayers and questions. He began guiding our lives through a new chapter and we haven't looked back since.

So, you ask me, why am I bringing this up today?

Well, every October all these memories come flooding back to me because October is the month I found out I was pregnant. I start thinking back to when we were preparing for D-Man and how nervous, scared, excited and anxious that we were.

Would we be good parents?

Would we know how to raise a boy?

Would we do everything right or would we fail miserably?

All these questions constantly swam through my mind and I vowed back then that when I was older, there were without a doubt several things I wanted D-Man to remember about his raising.

And so I remember these things this month. The things that I want D-Man to always remember about himself and his family as he grows and prospers.

I want him to remember that Christ loves him. He loves him more than I do and more than Daddy does. He loves him unconditionally and longs for D-Man to accept Him. I want D-Man to know that true contentment, true happiness, true life is only found in Christ and in Christ alone.

I want D-Man to remember that mommy and daddy make mistakes and don't do everything right, but they strive above all else to love one another with their whole heart. I hope the commitment that we made to one another many years ago will hold true in our eyes and in the eyes of our son until we go home to be with Jesus.

I want D-Man to know that we will always be his parents and love him. I want him to know that when God blessed us with him, our lives were so much fuller and happier.

I want him to respect people, to love people, to be true to himself, to work hard, to never give up.

Husband and I have our work cut out for us, but we know that God gives us the guidance and wisdom we need to be the parents we need to be for D-Man. It's a big job and I am so glad that he picked Husband and I for it.

When I am old, I pray that D-Man and I can talk about all the things that he learned from his raising and will be able to pass those on to his kids.


Queen B said...

Such a beautiful post.

Mari said...

I am sure those are going to be some fabulous talks!